The 'candy bar' episode worried us (see post in late September). What would he bite into next? This was an indicator that he needed more supervision, at a level we are not able to give him and still keep our jobs.
So, we have moved him into a 'memory care' facility, called Claire Bridge Brookdale Senior Living. It is just down the road from us, about 5 minutes away. It has the three things he loves best: 1. Good opportunities for socializing, 2. An outdoor area where he can take walks outside yet still be safe, and 3. Generous meals and 'round-the-clock snacking.
We set up his room with the pictures that Tess painted of Ed fishing at Porcupine Lake in Idaho, and of Grandpa Burt leading a little blond boy (probably Dick) towards the house from the woods, and the photo of him catching a big bass fish near the Denton slough. These photos and pictures are meaningful to him; he loves to point to them and tell stories of them. That's where his mind is at - a place in time about 60 years ago. All the other photos that I've had up in his room these last 5 years - Mom, us, his other children and their families- he has no recognition of them any more. So, I chose what makes him most engaged.
He adjusted easily to his new home. He is very comfortable in his room and accepting of being there. He seems to have quickly forgotten that he was ever anywhere else!
It was very strange for us, though, in the first few days. I kept expecting to see him sitting in his regular room, to fix him another meal, to tuck him in to bed at night. It's been a long five years for us, constantly taking care of him. The first thing we did, once he was safe and sound, was to sleep for days.
We took him in on Thursday - it was kinda like dropping a child off at summer camp! We went back to visit him on Saturday. As we walked in, I saw him standing in the window of someone else's room, which was facing the parking lot, and he was gesturing wildly to us. I thought 'oh no, he's trying to say "Get me outta here!"' So I anxiously went in to find him. He recognized me and said he'd been watching us perform on stage and was waving at us. Oh! well, that's good, then! So, he wasn't feeling bad about where he was - in fact, he was having some pretty entertaining thought mismatchings.
I like the way the facility is designed. There is a large central plaza where chairs are gathered around round tables and the residents are lead in stories or memory games - good listening and social time. A small aviary in this plaza has chirping parakeets. Off the main hallways are smaller lounges with a workshop where the men can go if they want to tinker with gadgets (like latches, or wrenches and bolts) and a nursery where the women, who lived their lives as caretakers, can find a baby doll to dress up and wrap in a blanket and carry around with them.
The facility smells good and the rooms are kept very warm. Just the cozy warmth that Grandpa would love. His window looks out on a green walking path and a birdhouse. (in the photo)
The staff are compassionate. When I visit, I check through his dresser drawers to see what he has picked up in his 'shopping' excursions. I return whatever he has picked up during his wanderings to the front desk, in case anything belongs to another resident. They are very calm about this; apparently many of the residents go 'shopping' in other people's rooms and in the public areas. That's why I'm glad that I spent so much time putting his name in all his clothes- so they have a chance of being returned if they walk away. Yesterday, we found a baby doll, blanket, and baby clothes stashed away in his nightstand. Well, good for you, Grandpa! Gotta keep the baby safe.
You can write to him at:
Richard Ralph, C-5
Claire Bridge Silver Lake
2015 Lake Heights Dr.
Everett, WA 98208
and you can call the facility and ask to speak to him:
425-337-6336
Below are two videos of him describing his paintings and photos. You can see that communication has become rather challenging for him - word finding, clarity, ideas. He thinks he is communicating - he doesn't know that it's not getting across.
So, we have moved him into a 'memory care' facility, called Claire Bridge Brookdale Senior Living. It is just down the road from us, about 5 minutes away. It has the three things he loves best: 1. Good opportunities for socializing, 2. An outdoor area where he can take walks outside yet still be safe, and 3. Generous meals and 'round-the-clock snacking.
We set up his room with the pictures that Tess painted of Ed fishing at Porcupine Lake in Idaho, and of Grandpa Burt leading a little blond boy (probably Dick) towards the house from the woods, and the photo of him catching a big bass fish near the Denton slough. These photos and pictures are meaningful to him; he loves to point to them and tell stories of them. That's where his mind is at - a place in time about 60 years ago. All the other photos that I've had up in his room these last 5 years - Mom, us, his other children and their families- he has no recognition of them any more. So, I chose what makes him most engaged.
He adjusted easily to his new home. He is very comfortable in his room and accepting of being there. He seems to have quickly forgotten that he was ever anywhere else!
It was very strange for us, though, in the first few days. I kept expecting to see him sitting in his regular room, to fix him another meal, to tuck him in to bed at night. It's been a long five years for us, constantly taking care of him. The first thing we did, once he was safe and sound, was to sleep for days.
We took him in on Thursday - it was kinda like dropping a child off at summer camp! We went back to visit him on Saturday. As we walked in, I saw him standing in the window of someone else's room, which was facing the parking lot, and he was gesturing wildly to us. I thought 'oh no, he's trying to say "Get me outta here!"' So I anxiously went in to find him. He recognized me and said he'd been watching us perform on stage and was waving at us. Oh! well, that's good, then! So, he wasn't feeling bad about where he was - in fact, he was having some pretty entertaining thought mismatchings.
I like the way the facility is designed. There is a large central plaza where chairs are gathered around round tables and the residents are lead in stories or memory games - good listening and social time. A small aviary in this plaza has chirping parakeets. Off the main hallways are smaller lounges with a workshop where the men can go if they want to tinker with gadgets (like latches, or wrenches and bolts) and a nursery where the women, who lived their lives as caretakers, can find a baby doll to dress up and wrap in a blanket and carry around with them.
The facility smells good and the rooms are kept very warm. Just the cozy warmth that Grandpa would love. His window looks out on a green walking path and a birdhouse. (in the photo)
The staff are compassionate. When I visit, I check through his dresser drawers to see what he has picked up in his 'shopping' excursions. I return whatever he has picked up during his wanderings to the front desk, in case anything belongs to another resident. They are very calm about this; apparently many of the residents go 'shopping' in other people's rooms and in the public areas. That's why I'm glad that I spent so much time putting his name in all his clothes- so they have a chance of being returned if they walk away. Yesterday, we found a baby doll, blanket, and baby clothes stashed away in his nightstand. Well, good for you, Grandpa! Gotta keep the baby safe.
You can write to him at:
Richard Ralph, C-5
Claire Bridge Silver Lake
2015 Lake Heights Dr.
Everett, WA 98208
and you can call the facility and ask to speak to him:
425-337-6336
Below are two videos of him describing his paintings and photos. You can see that communication has become rather challenging for him - word finding, clarity, ideas. He thinks he is communicating - he doesn't know that it's not getting across.
